svftg;
02:59, Sunday, January 24
i haven't been in blogger for quite some time eyy hee. me and commitment is really not meant to be. so who is this bestbro? let me take you back to our first meeting each other. tbh, in friendship, i am more comfortable with boys more than girls cos they don't really judge you a lot and fun to be with too. so, the story started when we're both 9 years old. we've been neighbours since i am 6 years old but we only met 3 years later after i found out that we got the same interest. he likes cat and also loves to cycle, and well i just know how to cycle at that age and a cat mania too so we hangout just to find this stray cats anywhere and cycle down the rough hills near our place. gosh memories. so, we even go to the same school but we never got into one class but we still say hi anytime we me met each other. so the real moment where we are inseperable is actually in high school. so it officiallly started at the age 13, he is this emo kid that always been alone while i'm on the other side this cheerful kid who have no worry at all (i'm really at the top of my life lmao) so, when i met him again after our breaks its kinda awkward, cos him and me have grown up so we cant just do the same thing like cycling or finding stray cats until late evening anymore but i'm glad he still wants to hangout with me. i thought its gonna be awkward cos we didnt really talk much when we're in middle school tho, but we actually get along quite well. so, mostly we just gonna meet if we got curricular activity (most of the time, we didnt even plan to met tho) so, after our activity we just hangout to listen to music or walk around talking about random things or he just scare the shit out of me with happy tree friends cos he knows i'm a scaredy cat pssh. but thats only the start of our friendship, nothing much is it? until he got himself a girlfriend. idk he did, but they said, he have been with her for quite a while but he didnt even have feelings for her. i really didnt want to meddle with others affairs but because that girl bothering him so much that i just to have a say. idk what happened mostly but what i know is  i gain a friend that day and the best one also i have boyfriend atm just saying. and the next year started, so we're bffs. but there's always a trial. if form 1 isnt going good for him, then form 2 is my dark ages. he have been the most tolerable friend ever, with a group of very patience people cos i suddenly become so emo at that age. obviously because i lost that boyfriend i have been saying as my first love as. i am becoming more emo as the day passes and as a divertion, i found k-pop (bless them) i would call k-pop as my life saviour but i really forget that the real people who have always been there and calming my anxiety attack is the person i should be grateful for. one of them is my bestbro. we have a fight actually because as i finally have a divertion to make the pain less hurtful, he kept on saying ridicule k-pop which makes me felt on fire atm. istg i can just kill him atm but knowing how he can be savage just to make my emotion stronger, i let go of that but my life become more messed up after that. i kept on getting into a wrong relationship but my bestbro would always be there, saying "i told you so" lmao. so our friendhip goes stronger from there. so, as i promise to myself, i wont get into any relationship when spm gonna start, so i am single since i am 16-years old which makes no different to me actually cos the longest relationship i've ever been in is 6 month. like i said, me and commitment is never meant to be. so, as my form 4 started, we become even more closer well i might as well said to the point that even my bestfriend atm would be jealous lmao. we would search for each other and would always being sarcastic everytime we met, but tbh his effort as a friend is very touching. he have always been the one that always search for me tho. if i have to say, the peak of our friendship, must be from our senior years of highschool, him being the most famous photographer at school (well kind of haha) and i'm just a potato being beside him lmao. a fact about being with famous people, people will judge you too. its hard tbh to be comfy around your bestbro when there's judging eyes. the question i would lways get is like "dont you develop feelings" and the statement that i hate so much "boys and girls just cant be best buddies or whatsoever" well sorry to break it to you, apparently we can. yes, there is knida awkward cos with your girlfriends you can just hug if things get hard or saying ily or imy when you misses them but with boys theres some lines you have to take care of. but so far, its just me being boys phobic, so he is the one that have to struggle big time dealing with me. i am never a good friend, we fight mostly because of me. cos idk i'm just too scared at boys (well he is a boy) to the point of ignoring him for days. i sometime dont understand myself
stop overthinking
this must be the most quote he always said to me. it keeps on bringing me back to reality tbh, thank god for his existence tbh. well, we've been through a lot because of my own childishness so, i'm forever sorry to him. but i am always grateful for having such a nice friend. i am bad at friendship tbh, but i am kinda amused to have a friend this long. like, its 2016 rn, so how many years have that been? 12 years? thats quite a long time. and its not easy to retain it as i am more to a family kinda person. anywhere, everywhere, my family must be there. so, my family must know all my friends very well. not actually. cos i dont like that topic bring up to my family. for me, if thngs doesnt last for more than a year is quite hard for me to introduce them to my family, cos they gonna remember it forever as i'll face them until the day the ground is shaking. so, if my family randomly talk about my friend or even mentioned they name, meaning that they really meant something to me. and because we've known eahc other the longest, ofcourse even our family knows each other. thats only logical as we're neighbours. but, i'm kinda touched to see that i actually have a friend that can get along with my family so well. its so rare for me and having him is a bless indeed. so this post, is supposed to be dedicated for him but i think i went far from praising him tho. haha. i just want to say i'm sorry for not contacting much and ignoring you nowadays. i am just so awkward in conversation irl nowadays, i ignore everyone tbh. i hope you can give me a chance, cos i really hope we can meet and talk over a lot of things like we used to. no matter how awkward it might be, i missed our conversations. no matter how lame i was, i want to keep this friendship. it's so precious to me. i know what i said have hurt you and you've the rights to get mad but i seriously am sorry. i hate myself too when it become too emotional. but i cant help it sometimes. i'm very sorry for hurting you. well there goes for a cheerful post. i know its gonna ended up being like this cos i've done a lot of wrong things to you, but i really want to end this in a cheerful way. so lets try. so, i have been reminiscing the songs we used to listen and i gotta say, it really brings back memories tho. as you know, i am bad with memories but i still remember it so its precious alright. i hope you can atleast remember the happy moments we used to have, cos i'll take my time when i come home, let's meet. this time, i put my life to make up for this moment where i cant be with you for your birthday. let's just do anything or nothing at all. i really missed you bro T^T so, let's end this with a cheerful note!

Happy 21st Birthday to my best bro in this whole wide world, Hykal Fikri. May Allah bless you and i hope you can pursue your dreams. i also wishes that everything will goes on your way easily. may 2016 be the best for you and makes you an even stronger person than before. and tbh, you're never alone. i'm always here, even when i'm not. well you know what i mean. haha, enjoy your day today :D

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